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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?